How do we pay for assisted living before the house sells?

Start by knowing whether your parent is moving to independent living or assisted living, because they're priced and paid for differently. Either way, Medicare doesn't pay for them, so the months between move-in and closing come from savings and investments, a home equity line of credit, long-term care insurance, a gift from family, or a mix.

Your parent moves first. Then the house gets cleared, prepared, listed, and sold. For those months, your parent pays the community and the house at the same time.

Independent living and assisted living

• Independent living is for people who can live on their own. Your parent has an apartment or cottage, with services such as meals, housekeeping, maintenance, transportation, and activities. It doesn't include personal care.
• Assisted living is for people who need help with daily activities, such as bathing, dressing, or managing medications. In Virginia, assisted living facilities are licensed by the Department of Social Services.

How they go together. Many communities offer both, often with memory care and nursing care, on the same campus. These are continuing care retirement communities. Your parent moves into independent living, and if their needs change, moves to assisted living or another level of care without leaving the community.

An example: Greenspring in Springfield. Greenspring is a continuing care retirement community with independent living, assisted living, memory care, and nursing care on one campus. Independent living residents pay a one-time entrance fee, 90% of which is refundable under its Residence and Care Agreement, plus a monthly service package. As listed on its website in November 2026, a one-bedroom apartment carries an entrance fee between $287,000 and $325,000, with a monthly service package starting at $3,029.

Independent living gives you more runway

A parent moving to independent living usually isn't on a care timeline. That gives your family room to plan. Your parent can sign the contract with a move-in date months out, and we can time the sale of the house around that date. Planned that way, the closing can land close to the move-in, and the gap gets much smaller.

Ask the community how far ahead it will set a move-in date, and what it takes to hold the apartment until then.

A move to assisted living often follows a fall, a hospital stay, or a change in health. There's less time to plan, so the gap is more likely, and the rest of this post matters more.

Fees and contracts vary widely

• Assisted living is usually paid monthly, with a base rate for the room and meals plus charges for the care your parent needs. In Northern Virginia, the total can approach $12,000 a month.
• Independent living can be a monthly fee with no buy-in, or an entrance fee of hundreds of thousands of dollars up front plus a monthly fee. Entrance-fee communities may or may not offer a way to finance the fee until the house sells.

Read the contract before you plan the money. Ask each community what's due at move-in, what's refundable, what changes if your parent later needs more care, and whether they offer financing or a deferred payment.

Add up the gap

Count every month from move-in to closing. On the community side, include any entrance fee or one-time community fee and the monthly fee. On the house side, include the mortgage if there is one, taxes, insurance, utilities, and upkeep.

All figures are estimates for illustration only, based on my experience with Northern Virginia assisted living communities that have no entrance fee. For an entrance-fee community, add the entrance fee. Get the actual fees from the community, and your actual house costs from your parent's statements.

Savings and investments

Cash in checking, savings, and money market accounts is the simplest source. It has no tax cost and no timing issue. Start by finding out how much is there and who can sign on each account.

For investments, which account you draw from changes the tax bill.

• Taxable brokerage accounts: selling can create capital gains. Some holdings will have larger gains than others.
• IRAs and 401(k)s: withdrawals are taxable income. A large withdrawal can also raise your parent's Medicare Part B and Part D premiums two years later.
• Required minimum distributions: if your parent already takes them, that money can go toward the gap first.

Ask your parent's financial adviser or tax preparer which accounts to draw from, and in what order.

A home equity line of credit

A HELOC lets your parent borrow against the house and repay it from the sale at closing. It can cover an entrance fee or the monthly costs. Most lenders won't open a HELOC on a house that's listed for sale, so it has to be in place before the house goes on the market. Open it while your parent still lives there, and make sure your parent, or the agent under their power of attorney, can sign for it.

Long-term care insurance

Long-term care insurance pays for care, so it applies to assisted living, not independent living. If your parent has a policy, find it and read it now.

• Your parent has to qualify. Most policies pay when a person needs help with at least two of six activities of daily living, such as bathing, dressing, or eating, or has a severe cognitive impairment. A licensed health care practitioner certifies it.
• There's a waiting period. Most policies have an elimination period, often 60 or 90 days, that your parent pays for before benefits start. Some count only days when care is received, which can stretch it longer.
• It pays up to a limit. Benefits are capped at a daily or monthly amount, which may be less than the community charges.

Call the insurer before the move to start the claim, so the waiting period is running while the house is being prepared.

A gift from family

In 2026, each person can give up to $19,000 to any one person without filing a gift tax return. Each giver counts separately, so two siblings giving $19,000 each can give $38,000 between them.

A larger gift means the giver files a gift tax return, but tax is owed only after lifetime gifts pass the exemption, which is $15 million per person in 2026. For most families, a larger gift means paperwork, not tax.

Gift limits are 2026 figures. This is general information, not tax, insurance, or lending advice. Confirm with your tax adviser, insurer, and lender.

Shorten the gap

Every month the house sits costs your parent money. Most of the time is spent clearing and preparing the house, so line that work up before the move.

• Decide on repairs early. A Home Audit shows which repairs are worth doing and which a buyer will price in. Should I renovate before selling my parent's house? walks through the choice.
• Book the clean-out before the move-in date. What do we do with everything in the house? covers the order.
• Price it to sell. Each extra month on the market adds another month of community fees and house costs.

Sources: Greenspring, Pricing and Senior Living Costs; Fairfax County Department of Family Services, Limitations of Assisted Living; Virginia Administrative Code, 22VAC40-73-10 (assisted living definitions); Administration for Community Living, Receiving Long-Term Care Insurance Benefits. Community fees change over time. Confirm current pricing and contract terms with the community.

For more on the whole process, see how I approach helping a parent move and sell.

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